


Strange Things

by softkaneki



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Extra Ghouls, Gen, I'm so sorry, M/M, Tokyo Ghoul: re, also maybe ships will change, and also me seeing how fucked up i can make things, and more characters added, i love urie btw, like it splits off from :re at a point, like so many kinds of abuse, like some next level shit will happen, lololol, this is more of a study of urie as a character tbh, urie how will you handle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:08:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkaneki/pseuds/softkaneki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is nothing quite a horrifying as seeing someone you trusted turn into a monster.</p><p>Of course, that is exactly what Urie sees. </p><p>He sees ghosts and ghouls and men pull each other apart. He sees the horror that Aogiri Tree scatter. He sees the volatile nature of a person's quest for power.</p><p>Urie Kuki sees may strange things.</p><p>Though none so strange as the Akako.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiRAZU

There is nothing quite a horrifying as seeing someone you trusted turn into a monster.

There were three things that day that almost broke Urie. The first, unsurprisingly, was witnessing Shirazu die. It was quite unreal, you know. He did not believe it at first - hearing his squad member ask for Sasaki and then desperately question why they they were not answering him. Urie’s voice was caught in his throat, his thoughts sparking but not lighting. The Quinxes were supposed to be _strong_. Shirazu could not just die on them like that, could he? He could not... He was...the core of the team. He was not... He could not be...

Saiko’s wretched sobs cut through his skin. Claws scratched at his insides, fighting each other and him, trying to tear him apart. They scraped their way up his throat and into his mouth. Half formed words fell through his lips as ugly stutters and gulps.

What had happened.

He was supposed to feel _glad_ that they had defeated that ghoul. He was not supposed to feel like his very being was breaking apart into jagged pieces.

Washuu Matsuri entered just as the hollowness of Quinxes settled in them. His cold eyes surveyed the room, taking in everything that had happened and calculated it. He worked like a computer. Damages were expenses and nothing more.

“Can anyone here still fight?” He asked.

His attitude angered Urie. And so Washuu Matsuri became the second thing to break Urie.

“Does this not move you at all? Having seen what happened here, do you really not feel a thing, Special Class?”

Urie’s words came out as ice. How, he didn’t know. He was so torn up inside, he felt like he was burning up; like every emotion he had ever repressed was going to spill out in a volcanic eruption. He was messy and distressed. Yet his behavior was one of cold anger, disappointed in his superior.

All Matsuri said was, “You disappoint me, Rank 1 Urie.”

_(Fuck you)_. Urie had nothing to say.

A few of them left. All that remained was the Quinx Squad and the badly injured. 

The air was stale now. It was silent. Mutsuki covered the body with his coat ever so gently. Saiko cradled Shirazu’s head in her lap, stroking his forehead and whispering to him. In any other circumstance he would have dragged her away, but not today. It was creeping up on him now, the lack of closure. He died just like that and the Quinxes didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.

Neither did his sister.

Oh god.

Urie clamped one hand over his mouth. He felt sick to his stomach. Oh god, oh god, oh god! Shirazu had a sister! Who was going to pay -care - for her now?

“He’s not the only one who died.”

Who said that? Who was talking like they understood?

“He had a sister,” Urie said. Wait. Why was he replying?

“We all had someone.”

Who the fuck was that?

“She’ll die without him.”

There. There. Say no more, boy. You’ll regret whatever comes out of that mouth of yours.

His broken thoughts were scattered by the entrance of Ui. The Special Class investigator walked towards them. His soft face was unreadable like normal, however Urie could feel a tension, a fear almost, invade the atmosphere. Maybe even he was scarred by things?

There was Sasaki. His head covered in blood, drying and sticky; was it his? He looked wild. The blood around his mouth was most certainly _not_ his. He seemed vicious, he seemed cold, he... He seemed like a ghoul.

“You!” Urie spat. “You! All Shirazu wanted was to see you!”

Sasaki turned his eyes to Urie, kakugan dissipating.

“All losses in the world are due to a lack of ability,” Sasaki walked past him, cool. “If you need curse anything, curse your own weakness.”

Ah. There it was. The third thing that broke Urie Kuki.


	2. Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> urie makes some tea

#### -3 Weeks Post-Tsukiyama Family Extermination Operation-

_All losses in the world are due to a lack of ability._

At first he had dismissed that statement. He had never been one to listen to Sasaki in the first place, why should he start now? However, as the weeks dragged by post-operation, those words began echoing round and round. He would wake up in the morning and they would be whispering to him. He walked throughout his day, following his regular routine - it gave him peace. Ah, but there is was. Sasaki’s cruelty.

But Urie Kuki was his own person. He wasn’t as prone to self-hatred as some might be.

The Quinx were on a break. After the exhausting Tsukiyama Family Extermination, many squads were given time off to recuperate and grieve their fallen comrades. Saiko spent most of her time in her room, pleased to not have to work; yet she hardly touched her games. Mutsuki agreed that time off was necessary, and so he trained harder than ever. Urie thought that time off was useless considering the results of the operation.

He needed to work, or else he would stop being in control.

As he was now the Squad Leader, he asked that they all train. With Mutsuki already doing so, it wasn’t that much of a request. Even Saiko the Shut In came out every few days to spar with Mutsuki, they were both soft and she felt safer with him it seemed. Urie trained on his own. If he didn’t work hard, he was sure he would lose his composure.

It was late at night and he couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Nightmares tailed him, leaked into his sleep; leaving him cold, alone and breathless. All he could do was hope that he didn’t cry out - he could never live down the humiliation of loosing his pride like that.

Due to his new nocturnal nature, Urie found more time to paint. It soothed him and provided him with a productive hobby. Okay, maybe not productive, but some might say it was a character improving exercise. He wasn’t so sure of that.

His brush was lacking paint, he noted. _Perhaps he should’ve used bottle green instead of burgundy?_

Urie turned to find his palette. He normally held it, so god knows why he had put it down. As he looked around behind himself, he was momentarily surprised by a figure sitting on a chair. He started slightly - then realised who it was.

“Mutsuki? What are you doing here?” He asked.

The other boy gazed at him. His hair had grown longer, it brushed just above his jawline, framing his face elegantly.

He shrugged. “You were awake.”  
Mutsuki had always been quiet and soft spoken. He was the calm among the storms that often fractured the Quinxes. Lately, however, he had been more distant; his turn of phrase had become laconic, there were hardly any openings in his behavior anymore.

Urie eyed the other boy quietly for a moment. Then he put down his brushes and folded his arms.

“I’ll make us a drink,” he said. “Come on.”

They both walked down the stairs in silence. The Chateau was cold, Urie noted. Not just because of the lack of central heating, but because they had all suffered the loss of a dear warmth. The kitchen floor was cold through his socks, so it must be even colder on Mutsuki’s bare feet.

He picked the kettle up and filled it up with water. Placing it down, he flicked the switch and it began to boil.

It wasn’t just Shirazu they had lost - it was Sasaki too. The switch flicked back up.

“Coffee or tea?”

“Tea, thank you.”

Mutsuki just sat on one of the bar stools watching Urie. He tried not to notice, but of course he would feel a slight discomfort at knowing someone was taking in his every move. It wasn’t a cautious gaze. No. Instead it felt like he was being evaluated. 

He poured the hot water in two cups. The teabags floated to the tops as the water darkened. It struck him then that he didn’t know if Mutsuki even liked this sort of tea. He didn’t know a lot of things about his squad members at all.

Urie gripped the sideboard and gritted his teeth. _(No good. No good at all.)_

“Urie? Are you okay?”

He shot up straight and turned around. Mutsuki was looking at him, a concerned frown creased his forehead, his head titled. 

He placed a cup down in front of his and muttered, “Of course I am.”

“Okay people don’t shake.”

 _(Not so taciturn now, are we?)_ “A squad leader has to be okay,” he snapped.

Urie swallowed sharply then. He hadn’t meant for his words to come out so harshly. Reason told him that Mutsuki would be concerned, he was the most human out of them all, empathy would be one of his stronger points. Yet there was that same part of him that growled and snarled that he only needed himself, that he didn’t _need_ anyone’s pity.

“Sorry,” he whispered.  
Somehow, Mutsuki managed to not look taken aback. He simply smiled ever so slightly and took a hold of his cup. He sipped the tea, subtly indicating that Urie should sit down next to him. So Urie did.

They sat like that in silence for a bit, neither of them willing to talk first. Both of them still unsure of each others company. Bitterness doesn’t leave your mouth so easily.

Urie looked over at the boy. Those dark eyes had once been held wide open, eager to learn and do his job. He had loved and was well liked. Now his eyes remained slightly hooded, tired and dull from lack of sleep and grief. Bereavement showed itself on Mutsuki like a second skin. His open personality was now closed, his bright and soft light was dimmed to the point of being near extinguished. Urie wondered what it looked like on him.

Both of them had internalised however, and maybe that is what drew them to each other right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love urie and i'm probably fucking him up real bad lmao 
> 
> grief and the effects of battle is hard to write eh


End file.
